Winter Camp, Grade 2Judy: "I am done."
Olivia: "Draw what you think Dr. Seuss looks like."
5 minutes later
Judy: "How do you spell Seuss?"
Olivia: "S-e-u-s-s"
Judy looks at her paper which has 'sou' and says: "p!" to make "Dr. Soup" with a picture of a man's head in a bowl of soup.
Olivia's 1st Graders
Girl: "My favorite food is coffee." - keep in mind, this is a first grader!
Lily, while poking Olivia's stomach: "Teacher, is there a baby in there?"
Olivia: "No, I'm too young for a baby."
Lily: "No teacher! But you are old!"
Olivia: "How old do you think I am?"
Lily: "42!"
Leo, looking extremely concerned: "Teacher! Fingers!"
Olivia: "What's wrong?"
Leo: "Blood!"
Olivia: "Where?"
Leo, pointing to Olivia's red nail polish: "There! You need nurse. So much blood!"
Harrison: "Teacher, can we have a rabbit for a pet? Because it has a million billion poops and that is funny."
Hannah: "Teacher, you have born all of the children in this class but you are still so thin! hahahaha"
Sue: "Teacher, is that your boyfriend?"
Olivia: "No, that is Barack Obama, the president of the United States."
Sue, very seriously: "No he is your boyfriend. And he is very, very ugly."
Elizabeth: "Teacher, you are USA"
Olivia: "You mean, 'you are from the USA'"
Elizabeth: "No, you are USA. U is you, S is your curvy body, and A is your boyfriend, Aladdin"
Olivia: "My boyfriend's name is Aladdin?"
Elizabeth: "Yes, the one with the genie and magic lamp!"
Olivia had two fish in her class and for winter vacation she was traveling around Southeast Asia and unable to care for them. As a result, she sent the class pets (Fishy 1 and Fishy 2) home with two students a few days before break. The day after she sent the fish home, one of her students that was in charge of a fish came up to her and said this: "Baby brother take Fishy and put in mud. Throw Fishy. Fishy dead. Brother cut Fishy. Fishy zombie." RIP Fishy.
While watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas!...
Sarah: "We should kill the Grinch and eat his head!"
Jack: "Teacher, do you know the Steven Jobs? Is he your father?"
Alvin: "Teacher, are you strong? Because I see no muscles. Can you lift car? I think no."
Kevin: "Did you know I have one million dollars? Your head is warming up because you think very much!"
Olivia, pointing to a photo of Obama: "Do you know who this is?
Boy: "This is Obama. He is king of New York!"
Girl, while pointing to the freckles/moles on Olivia's arm: "Why do foreigners have so many spots on them?"
Elizabeth: "Teacher, why are your legs so long? How do I make my legs so long?"
I looked up from my desk to see Jack holding a paper cup in his mouth while attempting to simultaneously cutting a hole in the bottom with an xacto knife. When asked if this was a good idea he said "Yes teacher."
Sue: "Did you forget to do something important today?"
Olivia: "I don't think so"
Sue: "Are you sure you didn't forget to poop, teacher?"
Girl 1: "Teacher you have such a big nose!"
Olivia: "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Girl 1: "Good! It is an American nose!"
Girl 2: "No no no! It is an ugly nose!"
Michelle's 6th Graders
Tony: "Teacher, what do African's eat?"
One of my boys told me he write poetry, and they have these e-diaries I check each week for grammer and such, so I told him he should write a poem for one.. this was part of what he wrote.. very very good, but very very strange
"Her mind is like/ a rose,/ And I follow/ her by smelling/ her mind."
Found from right before I arrived written in a diary I check: "Then we will get a new teacher who is an engineer from MIT. I am excited to have a teacher that is a professor." - That was referring to me, as that's what all the parents were told I was.
Carrie: "Joanne, wasn't it funny when during Science today I said b-o-o-b?"
Joanne: "Ha ha yeah!"
Jason: "I know what b-o-o-b is. Stop talking about it."
Carrie: "You don't know what it is!"
Jason: "Yes I do! Chris told me!"
Carrie: "Well then what is it!?"
Drake: "Carrie, stop talking about bras."
Carrie: "I'm not!"
Drake: "Well, you always talk about bras. What is a bra?"
Then the conversation stopped because they realized Tr Michelle was in tears laughing so hard at the front of the classroom and they were scared they were being too inappropriate.
Looking at the lunch menu for the day: "Eww pumpkin porridge. No I would rather eat garbage"
Assignment to write a descriptive paragraph about a member of your family:
Joshua: "I would like to describe to you my brother. He smells like garbage because he showers once every month. He looks like garbage and he feels like garbage. I think he is really garbage."
I have a bottle of febreeze from a lesson, and the boys like to use it for their own smelling-better purposes. One instance was when one of my boys just came up to me and asked for the febreeze because he sweat in gym and his armpits smelled; he then proceeded to spray his armpits.
Tr. Michelle in writing class: "So who can tell us what we learned about last week?"
Henry: "Committing suicide and wedgies!"
*Don't worry, I was not giving them tips or anything. In writing they had to write a paragraph about a world problem, and as mentioned in a previous post suicide is a big problem here, so many of my students chose to write about that. Only they would write "suicide them self" or "suicided." So, we had a mini lesson on how to properly say that. Then, they were writing about wedges (which had come up in previous essays too), so I asked what a wedge was. They explained it, so we had a little lesson on a "wedge" - a simple machine and a "wedgie" - pulling someone's underwear up. It was just nice to see what my kids really remember from my classes...
One of my students who had just gotten back from a week long trip in America (pretty sure it was LA) said he saw a lot of people on the street drinking and smoking and it was scary
My boys now call me "My Lord" because I wont let them call me sir and they think ma'am is an ugly word
After the election: "Obama called and said we should have a free day."
Michelle's 2nd Graders
"Teacher, you are a million billion million years old!"
Rosa: "Teacher Michelle! You have a clipboard! You don't know all the answers!"
Me: "Yes I do, I know all."
Rosa: "What's my grandfathers name?"
Touche.. you win.
Michelle's 4th Grader
Tr Michelle: Henry, why are you late today?
Henry: I had to go to the BIG bathroom...
Found from right before I arrived written in a diary I check: "Then we will get a new teacher who is an engineer from MIT. I am excited to have a teacher that is a professor." - That was referring to me, as that's what all the parents were told I was.
Carrie: "Joanne, wasn't it funny when during Science today I said b-o-o-b?"
Joanne: "Ha ha yeah!"
Jason: "I know what b-o-o-b is. Stop talking about it."
Carrie: "You don't know what it is!"
Jason: "Yes I do! Chris told me!"
Carrie: "Well then what is it!?"
Drake: "Carrie, stop talking about bras."
Carrie: "I'm not!"
Drake: "Well, you always talk about bras. What is a bra?"
Then the conversation stopped because they realized Tr Michelle was in tears laughing so hard at the front of the classroom and they were scared they were being too inappropriate.
Looking at the lunch menu for the day: "Eww pumpkin porridge. No I would rather eat garbage"
Assignment to write a descriptive paragraph about a member of your family:
Joshua: "I would like to describe to you my brother. He smells like garbage because he showers once every month. He looks like garbage and he feels like garbage. I think he is really garbage."
I have a bottle of febreeze from a lesson, and the boys like to use it for their own smelling-better purposes. One instance was when one of my boys just came up to me and asked for the febreeze because he sweat in gym and his armpits smelled; he then proceeded to spray his armpits.
Tr. Michelle in writing class: "So who can tell us what we learned about last week?"
Henry: "Committing suicide and wedgies!"
*Don't worry, I was not giving them tips or anything. In writing they had to write a paragraph about a world problem, and as mentioned in a previous post suicide is a big problem here, so many of my students chose to write about that. Only they would write "suicide them self" or "suicided." So, we had a mini lesson on how to properly say that. Then, they were writing about wedges (which had come up in previous essays too), so I asked what a wedge was. They explained it, so we had a little lesson on a "wedge" - a simple machine and a "wedgie" - pulling someone's underwear up. It was just nice to see what my kids really remember from my classes...
One of my students who had just gotten back from a week long trip in America (pretty sure it was LA) said he saw a lot of people on the street drinking and smoking and it was scary
My boys now call me "My Lord" because I wont let them call me sir and they think ma'am is an ugly word
After the election: "Obama called and said we should have a free day."
Michelle's 2nd Graders
"Teacher, you are a million billion million years old!"
Rosa: "Teacher Michelle! You have a clipboard! You don't know all the answers!"
Me: "Yes I do, I know all."
Rosa: "What's my grandfathers name?"
Touche.. you win.
Michelle's 4th Grader
Tr Michelle: Henry, why are you late today?
Henry: I had to go to the BIG bathroom...
hilarious!
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